Narrator: David followed Saul’s orders and was successful wherever he was sent. Saul gave david command of the army and David was successful, but problems arose when David returned from killing the philistines.
Generic girls: Saul has killed thousands, and David his ten thousands!
Saul: They ascribe to me thousands and to David ten thousands. What more could he have but the kingdom. I better keep an eye on david.
~The next day~
Saul: Now’s my chance, while David is playing his Lyre I’ll pin him to the wall. *throws spear at david twice, David dodges both times*
He dodged my spears! I’ll just send him out with the army, that will get rid of him!
Narrator: It seems strange in this passage that David would just continue on as normal after Saul has attacked him. This episode is not in the Septuagint and may have been added in anticipation of later events.
~Later~
Saul *Aside* I know how to get rid of david. I’ll have him marry my daughter and in return he’ll fight in the wars. That way the philistine’s can kill him. *to david* David! Have my elder Daughter Merab, in return you can fight the lord’s battles.
David: Oh that’s okay, I’m not important enough to be the son-in-law of the king.
Saul: *Aside* well maybe Michal will tempt him *to servant* Tell david you’re cool, everyone likes you, you should become the king’s son in law. *servant goes to david*
David: I don’t know. It seems like a big deal. I’m just a poor average guy. *servant goes back to Saul*
Saul: Tell him I don’t want any bride price except for 100 foreskins of the philistine’s *servant goes back to David*
David: That’s it? Awesome!
Narrator: So David went out and slayed 100 philistine’s and brought back their foreskins to Saul and married Michal. Saul realized The Lord was with David and became much more afraid. So he told Jonathan of his plans to kill David.
Jonathan: David hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s gone to war for you and done well, you’re just people paranoid.
Saul: oh alright, I won’t kill David.
Narrator: Again David went off to war and was successful and Saul was afraid, So again he waited when David was playing his Lyre and threw a spear at him. The spear missed and David fled.
David: Michal Saul is trying to kill me!
Michal: You go hide. I’ll put the idol in your bed and pretend it’s you
David: *leaves*
Servant: *enters* We’re here for David
Michal: he’s sick
Servant: Well we’ll bring the bed *they take the bed and it’s discovered it’s a fake.*
Saul: This isn’t david, it’s just an idol in his bed. Why have you tricked me?
Michal: David told me “let me go, why should I kill you”
~Later~
David* to jonathan* Why is your dad trying to kill me I haven’t done anything wrong!
Jonathan: No, he tells me everything, why would he hide this from me?
David: I’m serious he has it out for me
Jonathan: Alright I’ll talk to him.
David: There’s the feast tomorrow. I’ll hide here in the fields if he misses me say “David had to go to Bethlehem where there’s a yearly sacrifice for the family” If he says “good” then everything is great, but if he gets mad then he wants to kill me.
Jonathan: I’ll have a servant come into the field with me and I’ll shoot an arrow. If I tell the servant to collect the arrows to the side of you, you’re wanted. If I have the servant search behind you must flee.
~Later at Dinner~
Saul: Where is David, His place is empty
Jonathan: There’s a yearly sacrifice for the family in
Saul: that is not okay!
Narrator: so Jonathan told David what happened and David escaped. David travelled and gained followers through his good actions, in the meantime Saul was searching for David. He’d heard was nearby, and followed with his army, but David came across where Saul was sleeping and snuck in, cutting a piece of his robe.
Generic Male *to David*: Hey, we have him here, we should just kill him. That solves the problem right?
David: No, the Lord does not want me to kill him, it isn’t right to kill my master. *leave tent goes to the edge of camp* Hey Saul!
Saul: *wakes up* huh?
David: Why do you think I’m trying to kill you? Look, I got a piece of your robe, but I didn’t kill you. I didn’t do anything. The Lord will judge us and avenge me, but I won’t hurt you
Saul: Is that you David? You’re a better man than I. You’ve treated me well and I treated you badly. But promise you’re not going to kill me or my descendents.
David: I promise.
~later!
Narrator: Samuel died
Samuel: bleh *falls over*
No comments:
Post a Comment